Teaneck >Bars & Clubs > Ultra Bar
400 Cedar Ln, Teaneck, NJ | Directions 0766640.888647 -74.020254
I've seen Cavemen with better clubs – This place is disgusting. First, it is so unreasonably packed beyond capacity that it will take you AT LEAST 20 minutes to get a drink, 45 to use the bathroom. Because it is so packed it is a grope-scene and it is not safe for women. The male/female ratio is FAR towards male. Also, the average quality of female is gold-digger and the average quality of male is apelike.
This is definitely a club for poor people to waste their money to appear wealthy to each other. It smells like spanish food and cheap hairspray and nobody seems to know how to use the restroom without getting urine everywhere. Thankfully they have cleaning staff monitoring the restrooms because of this (although using the Men's room with a lady present seems a little ungentlemanly, further exemplifying the low-life nature of this place.)
There is a small back room where people appear to be a mix of shopping mall sales associates in their best outfits humping women who never finished community college, horny onlookers, and gang members.
The average price per mixed drink is $14, and they have a very light pour. I pounded two back-to-back and I felt like I had one beer. They should call their Gin-and-Tonic a Tonic-and-Gin. The security guards here are all douchebags who take their jobs FAR too seriously and corral people from room to room like herded animals. They are very disrespectful of your personhood and I don't think they can be counted on to keep anybody safe.
And worst of all is the music. As a DJ myself, I tool great offense to the lack of thought put into the sets. I think I heard 4 seconds of every song played in a club in the last 10 years, with no cohesion and no track played for more than 16 bars. Definitely not worth the $15 cover charge.
Overall, I'd say this is a nice building for the uncivilized to have the experience of going to a nightclub in. If you respect yourself, do not go to this club.
Cool Place! – Pretty fun....but into a lot of locals here!
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